I opened a private message yesterday from my publisher.
“Blogs? :) Sorry, I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass, just a lil reminder.”
The little smiley emoji thing doesn’t make it any better.
I already did two blog posts in the last few days. How often do people blog? Is this a full-time job?
Ugh.
So I sat down to write a blog post.
And came up with nothing. I just stared at the stupid blinking cursor.
…blink…
…blink…
…blink…
…write…
…you…
…stupid…
…bitch…
I know! I’m just as shocked as you are! I have no idea where my laptop learned such filthy language.
Then I showed that thing who’s boss and closed the… lid? Top? Whatever it is, I closed it up.
But the next blog post kept gnawing at me like a rabid nutria. Have you ever seen one of those things? And people EAT them! But then again, people eat squid. People eat bull testicles. People eat lots of strange stuff.
Anyway, it kept gnawing at me.
And I don’t want to let my publisher down, so I opened up my foul-screen-text laptop and saw another private message from him. Probably to nag me about the blog thing again.
Nope!
It seems that my second full-length novel has become available for download.
Yay!
I’ll write about that.
Oh, wait. Another message.
Wow! My sales have doubled in the last two days! And NO, my sales didn’t go from 1 to 2, ya jerks! I’ve actually sold a small handful of books. I’m still quite a ways away from being able to retire on my porn book sales, but it’s a respectable start to my writing side career.
Of course, the sexy cover image probably helped the new book. And I sold a few more copies of previous titles. I don’t want to call books that have been available for less than seven days my “back catalog.” Not yet, at least.
So, “Freya’s Sexual Adventures - Book 2: Freya the Sex Addict” is available now.
With my first book, I was just kind of careening blindly into the unknown. I hadn’t read much erotic fiction and I had NEVER written any. But I have a pretty wild imagination, so… The first book came out pretty decent, I think.
But I always had a larger story arc in mind. To oversimplify, in the first book we meet the four characters, Freya and Alex’s love grows, Cynthia and Katie’s love grows, and that book ends where Freya and Alex get married and the four buy a two-family house together.
I wonder what could happen with four sexy young adults living together? Oh, and the main character, Freya (of course!), has a growing sex addiction that they all need to deal with. Sexy shenanigans on the horizon? For sure!
And this second novel (that still sounds so weird – I wrote a novel! Well, two!!), but the second novel is even LONGER than my first. But all the crazy sexual addiction stories needed all of those extra words!!
At over 100K words, my calculator says that works out to… a mere… “4.97299236610E-5”... uh... something… um… “millicents”(?) per word. I don't know what that strange number means, but I think it broke my calculator!!
Okay. I just did an internet search for “E-5” and it tells me that it’s something 10 to the power of -5. Or something. I don’t think that I’m very good with math stuff.
So, (perhaps?) my latest book costs you only $0.000049729923661 USD per word.
Let’s go with that.
What a bargain!!!
I don’t know what else to write and my dog is looking at me like he really needs to pee.
When I think of something more interesting than math to discuss, I’ll post another blog thingie.
Have a wonderful day!!