Chapter 19

The newlyweds found that living in Creel Springs was the most wonderful experience either of them ever had. Their fearful mission was still ahead of them, but there was another delay. Their only source for vellum, Bruce Bockschecker, went on a walkabout, and when he gets back some other Bruce will bring them the Vellum. That gave Nick and Octavia the chance to fall in love with a life that neither one of them wanted nor expected.

As the days went by, many of the villagers stopped in to wish the young couple well and often they would ask Nick about a pain or have a question about one of their farm animals. Octavia didn’t have to say, “I’m sorry but I’m not a witch,” they all seemed to know that Nick would be able to come up with the right solution for them. The guys would ask Octavia a question about enchanted farm implements, and Octavia could fix a plow and fix the spell that allowed the plow to scour like no other. The townsfolk just knew the roles were reversed, and it was amazing for Nick and Octavia to experience.

Meanwhile, the more that Nick and Octavia inventoried their bookstore, the more they realized that they have an inventory of amazingly powerful books. Octavia asked herself again, why were only a very few of them chained down?

“Because there’s no wizards here to drive them crazy,” said Nick.

“We’re both wizards,” Octavia reminded Nick.

“Yeah, but we’re not crazy.”

“Crazy for sex,” she whispered, then licked his ear. The entire week has been a sex drenched celebration of love. They were more than ready to enchant some vellum.

“I’m trying to make us some money,” he reminded Octavia, but he still pulled her into his lap and tickled her until she squealed.

“G’day mates!” called a familiar voice from the stacks.

“G’day Bruce!” called Nick and Octavia Stein as the Ecksan librarian Bruce Dinkum stepped into their shop. “How ya doin’ mate?” asked Nick.

“Oi have one hundred sixty six sheets of vellum here for a little magic if you can find the time,” grinned Bruce as he laid a package on a countertop. “One hundred fifty for the cause, fifteen for you, and one to make the magic.”

“It will be ready tomorrow morning,” said Octavia and she got up from Nick’s lap and counted fifteen sheets of vellum from the package and handed them to Nick, then took the package and, waving goodbye, she left the shop. As she walked up Main Street, she had a smile on her face, a spring in her step and a swivel in her hips that was telling the world, “I’m getting some Dick tonight.”

“Good afternoon Octavia,” said the first resident of Creel Springs that she met, Ophilia d’Mahrk. “Hamlette and I heard that you and that nice fella of yours got married.”

Octavia decided to be honest and see what Ophilia’s reaction would be. “Yes Miss d’Mahrk. Not one hour after meeting you we walked up to Nana Partridge’s cottage, and she performed the ceremony for us.”

Ophilia smiled and nodded happily. “What a dear, you know, Nana has been dead for more’n ten years and she’s still doing everything she can for Creel Springs. I don’t know what we’ll do if we ever lose her.” She smiled, remembering sweet Nana Partridge. “And how are you two love birds getting on? I’m sure this is a change from what you’re used to.”

“We are loving life here in Creel Springs. Nick was born and raised in Ankh-Morpork; I was born there too but I was a foster child, so I moved from place to place, mostly academic families donchaknow. But I think this is where Nick and I will stay and raise our children.”

Nick watched Octavia through the window and his heart swelled with love and happiness. This is life in the small town Kingdom of Lancre, and it’s better than anything he could have dreamed of. “She’s a little anti-social t’day, wouldn’t ya say?” Bruce interrupted Nick’s reverie. “I show up and she runs away.”

“She’s taking the sheets up to the house where we will prepare them this afternoon, or maybe tonight. If this works properly, we probably won’t be here tomorrow. The finished vellum will be in that box, just leave the money on the counter.”

“You gonna be off monster hunting?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Nick shrugged off that line of conversation. There’s something Out There that has Octavia nervous, she rarely mentioned it before but as this mission has finally become real, she sounded worried when she talked about what they are going to do in Krull. To clear his mind, Nick showed Bruce around the bookshop and the scriptorium that he was so proud of. “I’m doing some calligraphy for the royal family’s return from Zamphis, that’s what the extra vellum is for.”

“You have some mighty powerful books here, but they don’t seem so anxious as the ones in our library.”

“We were just talking about that; my guess is that we don’t have so many wizards here making them crazy.”

Bruce thought about it and said, “Ya might have a point there mate, you only have two wizards here.”

“One actually,” Nick shrugged. “I’m not really a wizard, I’m more like an honorary member of the team. I’m more like a witch. The locals are coming to me for all their medical needs and problems with their livestock. Octavia is a much better wizard than most I’ve met and I’m getting compliments on my witchcraft. I’m actually getting pretty good at potions; there’s an anti-fungal brewing over the fire right now.”

Bruce didn’t argue with him. The lad is right; the blokes conferred the title of Bush Witch on him after that row in the bush, and Bush Witch is also called Medicine Man and in other parts of the disc it is also called Witch. To change the subject, he said, “I thought I smelled sheep on the barbie.”

“There’s some ribs on the smoker. The locals pay in food, which we love. We’re planning on canning fruit and veggies for winter already.” Nick wasn’t sure what that was all about. Winter is cold and rainy. He’s not sure what the locals were so upset about when anyone mentions winter.

The two friends shared one last tallie before Bruce headed back, and just before he left, Nick pulled his master key out from under his shirt. It hangs from a red ribbon around his neck. “Octavia and I both have one of these, it’s the key to the front door, I have a silver one, hers is gold. If you need us and the shop’s not open, light that purple candle in that window,” and he pointed to the window that overlooked the blacksmith’s yard. “That’s a messenger candle, I have one in our cottage that will light the moment you light this one and one of us will come get you.”

“That is totally bonzer!” gushed Bruce.

“If something happens to one or both of us, the keys end up right here,” and he showed Bruce the desk drawer where he first found the keys. “Always check here first, if you don’t mind.”

Bruce’s blood ran cold. He understood exactly what Nick was telling him. “I’m sure I won’t see any keys in there mate. G’day!”

After Bruce left, Nick locked up one piece of vellum in the scriptoria with the original parchment framed up next to the blank sheet of sheepskin, then he sat down to copy the spell that would turn other sheets of sheepskin into Thaumatin Vellum. According to Octavia, the ink didn’t matter, nor did the pen nib or even the font Nick chose to write in. He could copy it over in cursive if he was in a hurry. But Nick wanted to make an exact duplicate, if for no other reason than to give him practice, and it didn’t take long. He copied two other spells on normal vellum after getting that first spell complete.

Selling and buying books didn’t make them much money, but potions and calligraphy made them good money in the long run. Also, a form of magic that he brought back from XXXX was making them incredible money. Bruce (one of the Bruces, Nick forgot which one) taught him about the magic that happens when the smoke from a hickory or mesquite fire is allowed to enchant a brisket or rack of ribs. (In the hands of the right wizard it turns that cut of meat into money) Right now, three racks of ribs were just coming to perfection: two for Trei, the village blacksmith, and one for him and Octavia. Davis paid Trei three racks of ribs for some work on a wagon. Nick cooks the meat for Trei, which Trei pays Nick a rack of ribs for smoking the two racks for him. You can’t beat an economy like that.

As for vellum - they were selling Thaumatin Vellum to Bruce for half an Ecksan moolah each (10 sheet minimum) and for every 10 sheets enchanted, Nick required an extra blank sheet for shop stock. He knew Bruce was selling each sheet to the Unseen University for a moolah each and to Brazeneck College for two moolah each, and their agreement allowed Nick to sell Thaumatin Vellum to unaffiliated wizards for whatever price he could get. To meet this and the need of vellum for calligraphy jobs, Bruce Bockschecker has already promised Nick and Octavia five hundred sheets, but they’re not holding their breath waiting for Bruce.

Nick copied the spell that makes the conversion from sheepskin that can hold ink to vellum that can hold magic happen. It’s a circumstantial spell meaning that it doesn’t have to be read or spoken, just as long as the circumstances are met the spell will activate, in this case a wizard or a witch having sex on a bed just above where the vellum is stored, and that’s why there’s no Thaumatin vellum available, there are no sexually active wizards available, and no one asked a witch. Nick finished copying the spell for the Rite of Prose Mino, which read little better than bad poetry, followed by one more spell, then rolled up the scrolls, and changed the sign on the door. Before he left, he lit a small candle, then he turned around and took one of the scrolls out of his robe and set it on a pot belly stove in the corner.

When he turned back to his desk and there, sitting at the desk, was the shade of Besingger Floyd, a wizard. “Doctor Floyd? Could you do me a favor?”